Forgotten
by lshd
Summary: When Kurt' gets zipped, Jane worries if he loved her for herself or because of her original connection to Taylor Shaw. With a heavy heart she fears she's about to find out. Can Kurt learn to love her again or has Roman finally taken the one thing she can't live without?
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Blindspot or any of these amazing characters…

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It's been a little while since I posted…busy, busy. I have been trying to keep up with all the good stuff everyone else is posting though. I decided to write this after reading KeepSaying's Remembrance story. It was sooo good, it inspired me to write Kurt's version. Hope you like it.

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Jane looked at the man that meant everything to her and wanted to cry. Her heart was filled with love, but the expression on his face as he looked back showed no emotion. She was a stranger to him. The Zip that coursed through his veins ensured that he didn't know her and he might never remember. The loving expression in his eyes when he looked at her was gone.

She'd always wondered if he'd fallen in love with her because he thought she was Taylor or because she was Jane. Guess she was about to find out.

"Who are you?" Kurt demanded his gun held steady on her.

"I'm Jane," She took a deep breath. "You're wife."

The skepticism in his eyes told her what he thought of that.

"You're lying." He accused her.

"Look at your finger," Jane implored him, not moving.

Kurt looked down and when his eyes saw the ring she was referring to his eyes jerked back up to hers.

"That's not possible," He insisted, taking a step back away from her.

"Why?" She almost didn't want to know.

He didn't answer, but the gun he was holding began to lower slowly.

"I…" He tried before shaking his head in confusion.

"Put down the gun," Jane encouraged, "We'll help you."

He looked down at the vest she was wearing.

"You're FBI?" He might know her, but he knew what the FBI was.

"So are you," Jane said gently. Now was definitely not the time to go into the explanation that she was a former terrorist and consultant.

Kurt glanced down at the vest he was still wearing and the gun lowered all the way.

"What's going on?" He finally demanded.

"You were given a mind altering drug," Jane explained, "You can't remember who you are, but we know. We want to help you."

Kurt looked past her to where Reade and Tasha stood watching him with varying degrees of heartbreak.

"Who gave me this drug?" Kurt might not be pointing the gun at her any longer, but Jane knew him well enough to stay right where she was.

"The man we're here to arrest," Jane explained, "His name is Roman."

"Roman," Kurt repeated and Jane held her breath hoping Kurt would show some type of memory, but there was nothing.

"Jane," Tasha warned her.

Jane knew they were exposed and Roman was still out there. It was unlikely that he'd kill them when he knew what he'd already done would hurt her so much more, but she couldn't depend on that.

"We need to take cover," Jane urged Kurt, "Roman's still out there. We don't know what else he might do."

Kurt looked at her before he nodded his compliance.

Jane moved toward him as quickly as she dared, but when she reached for his weapon, he jerked it out of her grasp.

"No," He denied, "I keep that."

Jane looked up and met his eyes before she nodded her consent.

Kurt turned toward the closest building, but before Jane could follow after him, there was a sound of a shot. She felt the impact, but her real and only concern was keeping Kurt safe. She stumbled into his back but she knew she wasn't tall enough to offer him cover, so she used her momentum to bring him down with her.

He might not remember who he was, but he certainly maintained his reflexes. Jane found herself on the ground, the wind knocked out of her. Kurt's gun pressed against her. She didn't try to negotiate with him. She knew she didn't have time. Before he realized her intent, Jane went to disarm him. His automatic reaction resulted in the wound to her arm. She ignored the pain and once the gun was removed, she flipped him over and attempted to cover him.

It was only then that Kurt realized what was happening. He looked up into the beautiful face of the woman that claimed to be his wife and his heart beat harshly against his chest. He realized that she was speaking to someone else before he realized that he could hear her voice in his ear.

"Snipper, 2 o'clock, roof." She warned the team.

"Are you hit?" Another voice demanded.

Jane grimaced and took a shuttering breath before looking over at where he'd shot her.

"Just a graze," Jane assured them.

Kurt turned his head and the sight of the blood that soaked the sleeve of her shirt made the world begin to spin too fast. Suddenly, he was in another time and place. She'd been shot in the arm then too…his body flooded with adrenaline and his arm came around her and he pulled her more tightly against him before he scooted back until they were _both_ safely out of line of sight from the shooter. It was only at that moment that he believed that she was actually his wife. His eyes were glued to her wound and his stomach cramped when he realized what he'd done.

"Are you okay?" Jane demanded, her eyes trained on the building at their 2 o'clock.

"I'm fine," Kurt said his voice echoing his shock, "I shot you…"

"It's just a graze," Jane dismissed, "I've had worse."

This said so much about the woman that he married that Kurt could only stare at her in disbelief.

"Let me see it," Kurt might not consciously remember her, but every fiber of his being wanted nothing more than to attend to her wound.

"Stay down," Jane worried, "I'll live."

"He's on the move," The male voice came back over the earpiece he'd noticed earlier.

"Where?" Jane demanded.

"He's heading for the subway." The female voice advised.

"We can't let him get there," Jane worried, "We'll never find him. I'm closest. I need someone to cover Kurt."

"I'm on it," The male assured her.

Before he could protest, the woman that claimed to be his wife looked over at him with an expression that was full of love and concern.

"Wait here," Jane insisted, her hand briefly caressing his cheek, before she sprinted off.

"Wait!" Kurt knew the others didn't realize that blood was all but pouring from her wound.

Before he could follow after her, a large man joined him.

"She's wounded!" Kurt argued.

"She's tough," The man assured him, "We need to get you off the street."

"No," Kurt argued, "You need to help her. I'll be fine."

"Not happening," Reade denied, "She trusts me to watch out for you. I'm not letting her down."

"Then I'm going," Kurt was determined.

"You're a liability to her right now," Reade said bluntly, "She could have died trying to shield you. Let her go after him, knowing that I'm keeping you safe. That's the best help I can give her."

Kurt processed what the man said before reluctantly nodding his compliance.

The man placed a steading hand on his shoulder before motioning him to follow him.

Kurt reluctantly did.

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Jane sprinted for the subway, her heart pounding too fast. She knew it wasn't doing anything for her wound, but there was no way she could steady it after everything that just happened.

Kurt had been Zipped. That thought totally consumed her. She'd feared all along that she would have to one day hunt down Roman. One day kill her brother. Now she _wanted_ to kill him. On one hand, Roman had received a dose of Zip and eventually remembered everything, but Jane didn't know how much he had given Kurt. Was this amnesia only temporary, or was it permanent?

She'd left Kurt so long ago, so that he could stay and be with his daughter. She hadn't wanted him to miss any of those precious moments. Her first smile, first words, first steps. He'd been there when she turned one. He Skyped her several times a week and visited her once and sometimes twice a month. All of that was lost. He might have been here for those milestones, but he wouldn't remember them. Wouldn't remember her.

He also wouldn't remember Taylor. She had been such a defining event in his life. Would forgetting her change him on some fundamental level? Would the burden of her death and Father's lies being taken away make him a more open person? Very few people had ever gotten past the walls he had around his heart, protecting him. With those walls gone…

She pushed aside her fear and tried to concentrate on finding Roman. She needed answers and he was the only one that could give them to her.

She caught a glimpse of him and ran faster. Down the steps that lead to the subway, her eyes ran across the platform looking for his familiar form. She didn't see him. Frustrated she sprinted toward the rails, knowing that the train would arrive too soon.

Her first clue to what happened wasn't that she saw him. She finally noticed that everyone on the platform was looking up the tracks and talking in excited voices. She could see the light of the train coming, but knew if she waited for it to pass, Roman would be gone. When she dropped onto the tracks a collective scream seemed to reverberate around the enclosed space.

She ran toward the coming train, determined not to lose him. As it drew near, her eyes scanned the shadows, looking for a familiar face. It wasn't until the very last moment that she sought shelter next to a small maintenance cabinet. She burrowed into the small space and braced herself from being pulled underneath the train by the suction as it passed.

"Jane what is your location?" Tasha demanded from the platform.

"I'm on the tracks," Jane all but screamed over the noise.

"But…the train is on the tracks," Tasha said faintly.

"So is Roman, but I can't find him." Jane called back.

"Jane! You're going to get yourself killed." Tasha said frantically.

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Kurt heard their exchange and adrenalin began to flood his system. That wasn't going to happen. He looked over at the man who was looking every bit as concerned as he felt and pushed passed him to head toward the subway.

"Kurt," Reade protested.

"She's my wife," Kurt reminded him. He might not remember her, but the pain inside his chest was undeniable.

Reade relented. Passing him back his weapon he led the way.

They reached the platform just as the train was stopping.

"Where's Jane?" Reade demanded as Kurt looked around with a clenched jaw.

"I don't know," Tasha had to admit, looking at Kurt in concern. "She said she was on the tracks and the train came it…there's not a lot of room in the tunnel."

"Stop this train from leaving," Kurt said, the authority in his voice familiar, even if the look he gave them showed no signs of recognition.

Reade didn't waste time arguing.

As he moved away, Kurt looked over at Tasha, "You know what this guy looks like?"

"Yeah," She pulled out a phone and showed him a picture of Roman.

"Let's search the train," Kurt suggested, "Keep an eye out for Jane."

It was almost tragically funny Tasha realized as she followed after the man she knew didn't know her, but she still trusted him with her life. He might not remember who he was, or who they were, but you couldn't deny he was still the decisive take charge alpha male they all loved. She didn't know if that was going to make all of this easier or harder somehow.

They were a little over half way down the train, when Kurt saw Jane outside the window. Tasha drew in a harsh breath when she realized just how closely the train had passed to where Jane was barely secure. Kurt hit the door release and looked over at her.

"Are you okay?" He demanded harshly.

Jane looked up in surprise before she nodded her assent.

"Can you squeeze over here?" Tasha shouted. Jane's Coms were down.

Jane squeezed her way over to the door and Weller grabbed her hand to help pull her up. As he did he couldn't help but look at the ring on her finger. The satisfaction and surge of possessiveness took him by surprise. Once she was standing next to him, she expected him to release her, but instead he pulled her into the shelter of his body. She looked up in shock. Had her begun to remember?

The eyes that met hers were still vague, but there was something else there she couldn't identify.

"We need to stop the bleeding." He worried.

She looked over at where the blood from her arm had begun to drip onto the floor. He was right. She was losing too much blood.

"You were shot!" Tasha took her arm to look for herself.

"It's nothing," Jane insisted, but her head was becoming light and her legs were becoming heavy. She couldn't afford to pass out now, she needed to find Roman. She needed to know how much Zip Kurt had been given. Even as she fought it, her legs finally gave out.

Kurt lowered her gently to the floor. He looked at her pale face and the image flashed before him of her in a duffle bag. She appeared dead and it was Tasha that stemmed the flow of blood and called for an ambulance.

Holding a woman he couldn't remember in a place he didn't know should have made him retreat, but he knew he wasn't going anywhere. He might not remember her, but his heart seemed to at the rate it was beating and his arms did, because they weren't letting go. He didn't know anything, but he didn't know without a doubt that this woman was somehow necessary. Looking down into her still face he pulled her more tightly against him. She was his _wife_ …


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Blindspot or any of these amazing characters…

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Jane and Kurt found beds in the same hospital. Her arm was patched up, but she ended up having to stay overnight because she'd lost so much blood.

Kurt was admitted so that they could run blood work and try to establish just how much Zip had been administered.

The team sat in the waiting room silently. All of them shell shocked over the events of the day.

"I can't believe he Zipped him," Patterson finally said it out loud.

They'd all been attempting to avoid their new reality, each of them hoping that somehow, someway, it wouldn't be true.

"Why did he do that?" Tasha said staring straight ahead.

"He wanted to hurt Jane," Reade said with a hard voice.

"So you think he did this to show her how it felt when choice was taken away?" Tasha turned to look at Reade.

"Jane's system was flood with Zip," Patterson reminded them, "And she still was able to remember important moments in her life."

"So you're saying there's hope?" Reade looked over at Patterson with a worried expression.

"This is Weller and Jane," Patterson said stubbornly, "How many times have they been able to do things that seemed impossible? They're going to get through this, just like they always have and we're going to help them."

"We can tell Kurt what he doesn't remember," Tasha insisted, "Jane had to figure it out on her own and we all but lied to Roman and he still figured it out."  
"We didn't lie to him," Reade protested.

"Jane said that Sheppard erased his memory," Tasha reminded him.

"Okay…we lied," Reade conceded, "But only about how he lost his memory, not about who he was before that."

"Somehow," Patterson suggested, "I think that might have been even worse that lying about everything."

"Well," Tasha said stubbornly, "We can't change that, but we can make sure we do it right this time."

The Doctor appeared in the doorway.

Standing the team converged on him anxiously, "How are they?"

"Jane Doe lost quite a bit of blood, but she's going to make a full recovery."

"And Kurt?" Reade worried.

"He does have Zip in his system, but the dose isn't overly high. I'm of the opinion that there is every chance that he will begin to eventually regain at least some of his lost memories."

"That's great!" Patterson said in relief.

"This isn't an exact science," The Doctor warned them, "How much he remembers and how long it takes I can't tell you."  
"Understood," Reade assured him, "When can we see them?"

"You can go in and see them briefly," The Doctor advised, "But visiting hours are over in 45 minutes."

"A guard will be posted at each of their rooms," Reade warned the Doctor.

"Understood," The Doctor agreed, "I already passed the one you had outside the Emergency Room doors."

The team followed after the Doctor until they arrived at Kurt's room.

"He's not happy about being admitted," The Doctor warned them.

"At least that hasn't changed," Tasha said with a little smile.

They pushed open the door to find a scowling Kurt impatiently waiting.

"How's Jane?" He demanded.

"That hasn't changed either," Patterson noted, "Are we sure he can't remember?"

"She's going to be fine," The Doctor reassured him, "We have her in a room a few doors down. You both get to stay with us tonight."

"Why isn't she in here with me?" Kurt refused to be reassured.

"We wanted to give you your privacy," The Doctor explained, "While you get used to things."

"I don't need privacy," Kurt denied, "I need to know that my wife is being looked after."

"It's not a terrible idea," Reade looked over at the Doctor, "It would limit the FBI presence to this room."

"I'll have her transferred," the Doctor relented.

"Are you beginning to remember?" Patterson was still looking at him strangely.

"Not memories," Kurt denied, "My mind can't picture us together, but…I feel like I need her in here with me. You're going to think I'm crazy."

"No," Tasha denied with a little smile, "You're instincts are good. If you could remember, you wouldn't be letting her out of your sight."

"So I'm what…some type of control freak?" Kurt demanded.

"You are that," Patterson confirmed, "But in this instance, you simply just really love your wife."

"How long have we been married?" Kurt asked.

"Two years," Tasha explained, "But you were apart from some of that time."

"Seperated?" Kurt seemed distressed.

"Not like you mean," Patterson denied, "It wasn't safe for you to be tougher, so she left. You never stopped looking for her and when you finally found each other again…It was beautiful to see."

"Is that why the thought of her somewhere else is filling me with this anxiety?" Kurt worried.

"No, man," Reade insisted, "You love her. You worry over her, even though she's one of the most capable and lethal woman I've ever met."

Just then the door opened and Jane's bed was wheeled inside.

Her eyes were only for Kurt. He saw that look and it settled something inside him that he didn't understand. For the first time since he'd been admitted, he felt at peace.

"Are you okay?" She asked anxiously.

"They say there's a good chance I'll remember." Kurt told her.

Jane's relief was apparent.

"What about you?" Kurt looked to the Doctor for his diagnosis.

"We stitched up her wound and replenished her blood." He explained, "She's going to be fine."

Kurt nodded, but avoided looking at Jane. _He'd shot her_. That realization made him feel nauseas.

Once Jane was settled, the Doctor warned the team, "You're going to be encouraged to leave any moment. If there's anything you want to tell them, you better hurry."

Watching the Doctor go, it was Patterson that broke the silence.

"I'm glad you're both going to be okay!" She said emotionally before rushing over and giving each of them a tearful hug.

Kurt patted her back soothingly and looked over to the others in dismay.

"Ignore her," Reade said with a smile, "She's the emotional one."

"I am not!" Patterson denied with a sniffle.

The others began to laugh at that and Kurt smiled while his attention inadvertently strayed to his wife. He didn't know what it was about her, but he'd caught himself looking to her with uncomfortable regularity. The degree in which he appeared to need her was completely foreign. The tired smile on her face made the uncomfortable realization worth it.

"Okay," The Agent named Tasha told them, "We're going home to get some sleep, but we will be back first thing in the morning. Jane you have our number if you need anything tonight."

"And don't worry," The Agent named Reade assured them, "We have Agents guarding the door."

"Thanks," Jane told them her voice husky.

Seeing how weary she was, Kurt scowled in concern.

"Get some sleep," Tasha insisted turning toward the door reluctantly.

It was only after the others left that Kurt turned to study Jane more intently.

"How do you really feel?" He worried, noting her pale complexion.

"I'm tired," Jane admitted, completely exhausted if she were honest. It wasn't just the blood loss…it was the emotional roller coaster of the past few months.

"Why don't you get some rest?" Kurt suggested.

"What are you going to do?" Jane asked, her eyes running over his face tenderly.

It was such a contrast between the woman who'd been shot and still continued to fight to the woman that was now watching him with such a…loving expression. He was beginning to see why he'd wanted her for his own. He just hoped that she could still see in him the man she'd agreed to marry.

"I know we've been married for a couple of years," Kurt told her, "Have we known each other long before that?"

At that question Jane stiffened. He deserved the truth, but how would he feel if she told him?

"Not too long," Jane denied.

"Did we meet at work?" Kurt encouraged when she hesitated.

"You could say that," Jane rested her head back against the bed to explain, "I was being interrogated and you were the Lead Agent in charge of my case."

"What?" Kurt had clearly not been expecting that.

"I was left naked in Time Square," Jane explained, "With your name tattooed on my back. My memory had been wiped and I was covered in these tattoos."

Kurt's disbelief had turned to concern.

"How'd you get there?" He asked her.

"I know you deserve to know," Jane admitted, "But it's a really long story and…"

"You've been shot," Kurt finished for her.

"I don't want to lie to you," Jane all but whispered, "I'm just an asset to the FBI, not an Agent. My Mother's name was Sheppard. She was the head of one of the largest Terrorist Cells in the United States. She's the one that wiped my memory and sent me to you. She expected me to provide Intel from inside the FBI, but once she wiped my memory, whatever made me go along with her plan was gone. I didn't know her, I didn't know myself…but I knew you. You were my guiding star…I told you that you were my starting point…"

At those words, Kurt froze.

"You're North Star," He said almost absently.

"YES!" Jane said, sitting up in her excitement.

"So is she the one that Zipped me?" Kurt said with a scowl.

"No," Jane denied, "It was my Brother, Roman, that did that."

"Your brother?" Kurt repeated.

"He's angry that I turned my back on him and our family to help you take down Sheppard." Jane explained.

"So your Mother is a terrorist and you're Brother erased my memories," Kurt realized.

"Yes," Jane didn't deny it.

"How did we end up getting married after all of that?" Kurt couldn't imagine getting married at all, so he knew they things they'd gone through must have brought them closer together. He must really love her to overlook everything and everyone else.

While Kurt was realizing just how much he must have loved her, she was hearing her worst fear. He was questioning why he would have ever gotten married to her after what she'd just told him. Who could blame him? She'd always wondered that very thing. She figured it must have had something to do with the time Kurt though she was Taylor, but she couldn't tell him that. He didn't even know who Taylor was…

Just as Jane was realizing just how complicated this conversation was going to be, the nurse pushed opened the door and entered the room.

"I've brought something to help you sleep," She said kindly, moving toward Jane.

"We're kind of in the middle of an important conversation," Jane explained, her voice determined.

"You need to stay ahead of the pain," the Nurse warned her, "Or you're not going to have a very good night."

"Take the medicine," Kurt said in a determined voice, "We can talk more about this in the morning."

"Are you sure?" Jane worried.

"Yeah," Kurt confirmed, "It's going to be okay."

Jane smiled, but in her heart she was afraid that nothing was ever going to be okay again.

Kurt watched closely as the nurse injected the medicine into Jane's IV. She became noticeably more out of it.

Just as she was about to succumb to the medication he couldn't resist one more question.

"Why did you turn your back on your family?" He couldn't imagine how difficult that decision must have been.

"I love you…" Jane whispered even as the medicine stole her conscious.

At that pronouncement, Kurt felt a jolt of electricity straight to his heart. He didn't take those words lightly and he knew enough about her now to know that she didn't either. Watching her sleep he searched his blank memories to go with the emotion she made him feel. She wasn't in his mind, but at the rate his heart was beating he knew she was in control of that organ. He should have been concerned to be feeling love for a woman he didn't know, but looking at her all he could feel was relieved. She loved him. It made even this horrible moment okay. That she could affect him so easily, even while virtually unconscious scared him.

Even as his mind rebelled from the feelings she so easily provoked, he remained vigilant as she slept, knowing they weren't really safe. Knowing that protecting her mattered.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Blindspot or any of these amazing characters…

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Jane woke up feeling much better. She blinked in confusion before her memory flooded back. He heart sank like a stone as the prior days horrors replayed behind her tightly closed lids.

When she was able to breathe through the panic that filled her at the thought of Kurt being Zipped, she opened her eyes to find that they weren't alone.

"Who's watching the door?" Jane worried when she saw Special Agent Laura Brent chatting with Kurt.

"I thought I could be more effective in the room with you," Laura explained, "Plus, Kurt was restless so I offered to keep him company."

Kurt was looking a Jane, but his open expression from last night was now guarded.

 _What was going on?_

"Could you give us a moment?" Jane sat up in the bed with a slight grimace.

"Kurt?" Laura looked to him for his input.

"Now that Jane's up," Kurt assured her, "I'll have plenty of company."

"If you change your mind," Laura insisted, "I'm right outside."

"Thanks," Kurt acknowledged her offer.

Jane wasn't stupid and she scowled at the Special Agent as she retreated back to her post.

"What was that all about?" Jane looked over at Kurt.

"Nothing," Kurt denied, but he didn't look at her.

"What's going on?" Jane felt her stomach cramp.

"Laura was just filling me in on some of my missing memories."

"Which ones?" Jane almost didn't want to hear.

"She said that I arrested you because you betrayed the team." Kurt admitted, looking at her for the first time so that he could gauge her reaction.

"It's true," Jane admitted, "Then I was sent to a CIA Black site where they tortured me for three months."

"What?" Kurt's eyes had lifted in dismay.

"It wasn't one of our best moments." Jane admitted.

"She also said that even though we've been married for over two years, you were gone for most of that time." Kurt said with an accusatory tone.

"She was pretty select in the information she gave you," Jane noted, standing up and heading toward the bathroom.

"Was she lying?" Kurt demanded.

"No," Jane admitted, looking over her shoulder. "I had a hit placed on me and knew that if I stayed with you then you wouldn't be safe. So I left."

"You just left?" Kurt asked aggressively.

"There were reasons," Jane assured him.

"That you didn't believe in me…in us?" Kurt said with a scowl.

"You have a daughter named Bethany," Jane explained patiently, "I didn't want you to have to choose between the two of us so I left. As a result of that decision, you got to share in your daughter's first years."

"I have a daughter with someone else?" Kurt demanded.

"You're ex-girlfriend, Allie." Jane explained. "She's one of your closest friends and your daughter is lucky to have you both."

"So when my girlfriend was pregnant with my daughter," Kurt was clearly shocked, "I was dating and marrying you?"

"Ex-girlfriend," Jane explained, "She's with someone else now and we weren't really dating. One day you told me you loved me and I admitted I love you too."

"It seems kind of sudden." Kurt noted.

"We'd been through a lot together," Jane explained, "But you don't remember any of that or me. So I guess to you it does seem sudden."

"You weren't upset that I had a child with someone else?" Kurt asked her.

"When I found out she was pregnant," Jane turned to face him, "It hurt, but you've always wanted a big family and I knew you'd make a wonderful Father."

"I don't know how I'd feel in the same circumstance." Kurt admitted.

"Funny you should say that," Jane wasn't in the mood to soften the blow, "I do have a daughter, her name is Avery and she is currently living with us."

"Who's watching her?" Kurt sat up in alarm.

"She's eighteen," Jane explained, "She would be offended to hear you think she needs to be watched."

"Eighteen?" Kurt looked confused, "How old were you when you had her?"

"Sixteen," Jane said, her chin lifted in challenge.

Kurt didn't say anything.

Jane continued onto the bathroom, her hands clenched in silent frustration. Laura had clearly had an agenda with her talk to Kurt and it had certainly worked in her favor. Jane didn't know why Reade had assigned the newest Agent to their office as guard duty, but there was nothing she could do about it now. The damage had already been done. Kurt now realized that he'd married a teenage mother and terrorist whom he'd arrested for treason. Not to mention that he wouldn't be in this hospital if it wasn't for his wife's brother. No wonder he was looking at her with suspicion.

She finished up in the bathroom and wasted no time getting changed.

"What are you doing?" Kurt was beginning to look concerned.

"I have to find Roman before he does even more damage," Jane explained.

"The doctor hasn't released you yet," Kurt protested.

"I'm fine," Jane insisted pulling on her clothes.

Kurt's eyes were glued to her as she pulled her shirt on. His name was in large block letters across the center of her back. He was familiar with that tattoo. With all of her tattoos he realized. In fact he suddenly knew her body better than his own.

"Jane," Kurt protested standing up.

"Look," Jane finally slowed down long enough to look up into his face, "I know you're wondering why you married someone like me and I wish I could explain it to you, but I've never understood. You're the best man I've ever met and I have enough baggage to sink a ship, but you still loved me."

"I still love you," Kurt corrected her, "Not past tense."

"You don't know how you feel," Jane denied, "I know how seriously you take your responsibilities, but there's a chance that whatever made you love me…is gone. We need to accept that what we had is gone and what we'll have now might not ever be what it was. I don't blame you. How could I? Everything bad that happens is always because of me."

Hearing the pain she was unable to hide, Kurt wanted nothing more than to pull her against him and assure her he still felt the same. He realized abruptly that she wouldn't believe him if he did that. He needed to show her he still felt the emotion, even if the memories were gone. He didn't know how to do that, but he wouldn't give up until he figured it out. He might not know much right now, but he knew with certainty that he wasn't letting this woman get away from him again.

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"How could you have assigned Laura to guard duty?" Zapata demanded when they arrived back at the hospital.

"What do you mean?" Reade didn't understand.

"Oh, Reade," Patterson looked pained, "Laura has a huge crush on Kurt and it's sometimes painful to watch."

"She does?" Reade looked shocked, "Does Jane know?"

"Everyone knows," Tasha insisted.

"I don't think that's going to keep her from doing her job," Reade pointed out.

"A little too well," Tasha said with scowl, "Jane called me on the way out of the hospital this morning to warn me that Laura came in while she was still sleeping and took the opportunity to inform Kurt about him arresting Jane and them being separated for the majority of their marriage."

"She was inside the room?" Reade demanded, "Who was guarding the door?"

"Exactly," Patterson agreed.

"How much damage did she do?" Reade worried.

"Well," Tasha stopped walking and looked up at him in exasperation, "Jane has gone off without being released to try and find Roman."

"That bad…" Reade looked livid.

"So much for helping him remember," Tasha said sarcastically.

"We will," Reade insisted.

"First you have to get rid of Laura," Tasha insisted.

"I'll reassign her," Reade soothed her.

"I hope it isn't already too late." Patterson worried her lip as the elevator ascended to the surgical ward.

"Me too," Reade agreed with a worried frown.

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Kurt looked at the woman that seemed intent on telling him every unflattering thing she could think of about his wife. He listened silently, but the scowl on his face should have warned her.

"Aren't you supposed to be guarding the door?" Kurt finally asked bluntly.

"Yes," Reade agreed from the opening, "She was."

Laura shot up off the corner of Kurt's bed with a little gasp.

"I… had to come inside because Jane left him alone!" Laura finally protested.

"Out," Tasha wasn't amused.

"You don't have the right…" Laura said lifting up her chin.

"But I do," Reade reminded her, "Out."

She moved reluctantly toward the door. "Kurt, if you need anything, or just someone to talk to…"

"He has a wife and his team for that," Patterson reminded her, unamused.

"Yeah," Laura scoffed, "His wife is obviously so concerned."

"You're out of line," Reade warned her, "You barely know Jane and you certainly are not an expert on Kurt or anything important to him. You need to find some perspective."

"You're just protecting her because she has something you need right now," Laura insisted, refusing to back down in front of Kurt.

"Jane is one of the most incredible people I've ever met," Reade denied bluntly, "She would give her life for any one of us and we would to the same for her."

Laura had nothing to say to that. She retreated back to her post only to find another Agent waiting.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded.

"Jane Doe called me early this morning and warned me Weller's detail was too distracted to be reliable." The man told her with a scowl.

"She doesn't have the right to call in a new detail!" Laura protested.

"Look," The Agent looked down at her seriously, "You're new here. Don't mess with Jane or this team."

"Or what?" Laura scoffed, "She'll hurt me?"

"No," The Agent looked at her strangely, "Reade will transfer you out. Our unit has been through a lot, we're close and we have each other's backs. If you ever want to be a part of that, you need to accept that Weller is married to Jane. Not because she forced him, but because what they have together is like nothing I've ever seen before."

"But he doesn't remember her," Laura pointed out.

"He will," The Agent insisted.

"You don't know that," Laura said stubbornly.

"Even if he doesn't," The Agent insisted, "They're…like two halves of one whole."

"What are you a poet?" Laura actually laughed.

"I'm trying to help you," The Agent was done trying to reason with her.

"Well, I'm back no so you can go," Laura told him.

"No," The Agent denied, "I have my instructions. I'm here to relieve you."

"Because Jane Doe said so?" Laura demanded.

"Yes," The Agent agreed.

Laura left with a frustrated look.

He watched her go with a worried frown. Weller w _ould_ remember and when he did he wouldn't want to be Laura.

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Jane spent a frustrating day chasing down dead ends. By the time she arrived back at the apartment, she already knew that Kurt would be inside with Avery. The team had kept her updated on his progress throughout the day and she finally admitted to herself that she was avoiding him. She knew he had questions, but her answers were sure to push him further away. When you looked at the facts of their relationship without the emotions that made it what it was, it looked bad. He had to be wondering why he'd ever married her. She couldn't answers him, she always known that on paper they couldn't have been more different. He shouldn't care about her. It had to be because he'd believe that she was Taylor. She could tell him about Taylor, but this was a chance to take that burden away from him.

She opened the door and two sets of eyes turned to look at her.

"Where have you been?" Avery demanded moving over to meet her at the door.

"Looking for Roman," Jane said with a puzzled frown.

"You were just shot," Avery reminded her looking at where her wound had begun to seep through her shirt.

"You haven't changed the bandage all day, have you?" Kurt joined them, reaching for her arm with a worried frown.

"Its fine," Jane insisted to both of them.

"Getting yourself killed won't change what happened," Avery said with a worried frown.

"I'm not trying to get myself killed," Jane headed into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water.

"Have you eaten?" Kurt worried, seeing her ashen complexion.

"No," Jane was forced to admit.

"The medicine they prescribed you said you're supposed to take it with food." Kurt worried, remembering the Doctor explaining it to her.

Jane figured it wasn't the time to admit she hadn't taken the time to fill her prescriptions.

"Where are they?" Avery was clearly onto her.

"I didn't fill them yet," Jane explained patiently.

"Okay," Avery looked over at Kurt, "Do you want to feed her and change her dressing or go fill her prescriptions?"

"I'll stay with her," Kurt elected, "You take your detail to get the prescriptions."

"I'll be back," Avery moved toward the door before Jane could protest.

"Be careful," Jane called to her retreating back.

Avery held up a hand in reassurance.

Jane turned to Kurt and worried, "How are you feeling?"

"Anxious," Kurt admitted, gathering what he needed to make her breakfast.

"Why are you anxious?" Jane watched him with her own worried frown.

"I'm trying to figure out a way to make my wife realize that I still love her," Kurt admitted meeting her eyes, "Before she does something to get herself killed."

"Kurt…" Jane protested.

"I don't remember everything," Kurt admitted, "But my feelings haven't changed. I need you in a way that probably makes you uncomfortable."

Jane walked over and placed her hand on his back gently, "Whatever you need."

Kurt stopped what he was doing and turned to face her, "I need you to take care of yourself. Take me with you, so that I know you're safe. Eat. Follow the Doctors instructions. Take your medicine."

"I thought after what Laura told you," Jane couldn't meet his eyes, "You might need a little space."

"I didn't…I don't." Kurt denied, his hands grasping her hips as he gently pulled her closer, "I just need time with my wife."

Jane looked up and her breath caught when she saw the love in his eyes for her. It was the same expression that she'd seen countless times and thought she might never see again.

At the look on her face, Kurt felt some of the tension he was feeling melt away. They were going to get through this. Together.

Leaning down he let his lips brush over hers gently. When she returned the caress helplessly he smiled and nuzzled her gently with his nose, all the while breathing her in.

"Let's get you fed and that bandage changed. By then Avery will be back with your prescriptions and you will be calling it an early night."

"Are you going to join me?" Jane asked seriously.

"There's no place I'd rather be," Kurt assured her.

Jane's eyes closed in relief and Kurt looked down at her tenderly. Just that easily another missing piece fell into place.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own Blindspot or any of these amazing characters…

I was going to post this in the morning, but I'll do it a little early in case tomorrow is as crazy as today was. Hope you enjoy...

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I wanted to thank A11y50n for the idea of the baby Bethany videos! Loved it…used it. You are awesome.

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"So I talk to her regularly?" Kurt worried as Jane explained his routine with Bethany.

"You video call her," Jane confirmed, "You're a wonderful Father."

"She lives so far away…" Kurt worried.

"You fly there and Allie brings her here," Jane reassured him. You probably see her more than some Father's that live nearer their children."

"If I call her though," Kurt was still hesitant, "Won't she notice something's wrong?"

"I know what we can do!" Jane realized abruptly, "We have videos of all of her milestones!"

"We do?" Kurt looks surprised.

"Well," Jane smiled at him, "You actually took them for me…because I was gone."

"You left so that I could have those moments," Kurt remembered.

"And you recorded them so I could share them with you when you found me." She smiled.

"And now I get to see them," Kurt gave her a little smile.

"Get ready for cute overload," Jane teased him, "You make pretty beautiful babies."

Kurt watched her getting the video ready silently. Just as she turned back to face him he asked her, "You ever think of having one of our own?"

Jane froze as his word echoed not only through the now emotionally charged room, but through time. She was immediately transported back to the moment when he first asked her that question. She felt their happiness, their heartache, the loneliness of her self-enforced exile.

Kurt was watching her with a worried frown. The look on her face indicated that she was far away.

"Jane," He pushed himself off the couch and headed toward her in concern, "Do you not want any more children?"

Jane blinked up at him as he placed his hands on her hips and pulled her closer to him protectively.

"It's not that," Jane denied, "You asked me that before…exactly like that."

"It felt right," Kurt admitted with a little smile, "What was your answer?"

"I never answered," Jane denied with a little grimace, "Assassins broke into the house right then and I left you later that night."

"We never talked about it after that?" If asking had felt right, finding out they never talked about it again suddenly didn't.

"A lot has been going on since I got back," Jane explained lamely.

"Let's talk about it now," Kurt insisted. He didn't know why he was pushing her. Even he realized this wasn't the best time to make long term plans, but somehow he knew this was a conversation that had been at the back of his mind for a while.

"I…" Jane didn't know what to say. She wanted Kurt's children with a longing that probably wasn't healthy, but she also knew that telling him that would unduly influence him and his feeling for her. She was determined not to do anything that would sway him from making the right decision for _his_ future. He picked her before and she didn't want to keep him by default. Until he knew what he was getting into…she couldn't have this conversation.

"Sounds like you don't," Kurt was frowning down at her.

She couldn't let him believe that either…

"I do want children with you," Jane finally admitted, "But there's always something keeping us from making that a reality."

"You think we should wait for the perfect time?" Kurt might not remember his life before, but even he knew there would never be a moment like that. Life didn't work that way.

"Not the perfect time," Jane denied, "But I would like you to at least know who I am beyond the fact that you married me. I also want to point out that my brother is trying to kill us, that is not a situation I want to expose our children to."

 _Our children._ He liked the sound of that.

"Fair enough," Kurt conceded,

They settled on the couch and Jane was surprised when Kurt lifted the pillow off his lap and waited for her legs to settle against him. He immediately began to gently rub them and Jane's eyes closed at the familiar sensation.

Kurt looked over at her trembling mouth and realized what he'd done. He hadn't consciously remembered this, but it felt right. He suddenly realized that his instincts could fill in the dark places of his mind even better than racking his brain could.

Jane took a deep breath and started the video. Just that quickly Kurt was captivated. He watched the little scamp that carried so many of his own traits grow up.

As Kurt watched the video, Jane watched him. This was an unexpected gift. She'd been enchanted when he'd shown her what she missed, but now she was able to watch Kurt's reaction to Bethany's milestones and an empty space inside her filled full. She'd missed his reaction the first time and watching him fall in love with his daughter all over again, she felt her own eyes fill with tears.

"Look at her!" Kurt's hand tightened on Jane's leg in excitement.

She watched Bethany take her first trembling steps with wet cheeks.

The video continued to play and Kurt fell in love with his daughter and Jane fell more in love with him. Roman had taken away everything that defined the man he'd become and yet his gentle heart and inherent goodness was so deeply engrained in him, he was the same.

Once the video finally ended Kurt looked over and caught her watching him with such a look of love on her face that he couldn't resist leaning in and stealing a kiss that she returned with a reverence that made that feeling he couldn't deny even more poignant. He might have had an awesome child by default, but he'd clearly chosen his wife with care. It was a good thing he was so choosey…

Later that afternoon he called his daughter and it wasn't awkward at all.

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Kurt slowly began to take up his life once more. Their first day back at the FBI, Jane was almost paralyzed with fear that he would get hurt. As time passed he proved that the Zip might have taken his memories, but it hadn't taken his abilities, Jane felt her anxiety lesson.

He was the same alpha leader. He didn't shy away from voicing his opinions in the briefings. His instincts were spot on. You would almost think he remembered, but then he'd do something completely unexpected.

Jane watched him laughing and joking with some of the other Agents and she felt more alone than ever. The serious, guarded man she loved was open and engaging. He didn't hide behind his walls, he didn't need them anymore. She rejoiced in the freedom he seemed to find, but now she found herself trapped behind those walls all alone. He'd lowered them down to allow her in, but when he left them, she found herself left behind.

"Jane," Patterson called to her watching her with a worried expression.

"Did you find something?" Jane turned toward her gratefully. Anything was better than watching Kurt move beyond her…beyond them.

"I have a lead," Patterson admitted, "It's not from the tattoos."

"Where's it from?" Jane didn't understand.

"Sheppard." Patterson explained.

"What?" Jane didn't understand. Sheppard was back in CIA custody and with Tasha off the taskforce, beyond their reach.

"Keaton came by," Patterson explained, "Sheppard started talking."

"Why?" Jane didn't understand.

"She's trying to save Roman," Patterson admitted.

"At my expense?" Jane guessed.

"She says she's trying to save both her children." Patterson denied.

"I don't believe her," Jane admitted.

"I don't either," Patterson agreed.

"So what did she give us?" Jane turned toward her.

"Aren't you going to get Kurt?" Patterson looked past Jane to where Kurt was talking to the others.

Jane looked over her shoulder at his happy expression.

"No," Jane denied.

"What's going on?" Patterson demanded immediately.

"Look at him," Jane insisted, "Can you ever remember seeing him that happy before?"

"Yes," Patterson insisted, "Happier actually, when he got you back."

"That was before…" Jane insisted.

"Before he forgot you?" Patterson clarified.

"He didn't forget me," Jane reminded her, "My _brother_ drugged him."  
"You didn't," Patterson insisted.

"It doesn't matter," Jane insisted, "The end result is the same."

"What do you think is the end result?" Patterson worried.

"Before…he was guarded and a little broken. We fit."

"Neither one of you is broken!" Patterson protested.

"Patterson…" Jane looked at her in disbelief, "My Mother is a terrorist, my Brother is homicidal, I have no memories of most my life, I was tortured by the CIA, I've had multiple hits placed on me… I'm more than a little broken."

"Well Kurt can't remember most his life either," Patterson pointed out, "And last I checked Kurt's had hits placed on him…"

"Losing my memory was one of the best things that happened to me," Jane argued, " And Kurt losing his…was one of the best things for him."

"You don't mean that!" Patterson protested.

"Look at him," Jane insisted.

Patterson looked. Kurt did seem happy, more carefree.

"He still loves you," Patterson didn't try to deny what Jane was saying. Kurt was different in this one instance.

"Is it love, or is it obligation?" Jane asked her.

"It's love." Patterson said flatly.

"I hope so," Jane finally whispered.

"You'll see," Patterson said with confidence. She might not know everything, but in Kurt and Jane's feeling for each other, she had absolute certainty.

"I'm going on my own to check out your lead," Jane insisted.

"At least take Reade," Patterson insisted.

"He's in meetings all day," Jane reminded her, "Tasha's gone. Kurt's…distracted."

"I'll go with you," Patterson insisted.

"Rich is doing his community service," Jane reminded her, "If you're with me, who will be feeding me Intel?"

"Jane…" Patterson was clearly reluctant.

"It'll be fine," Jane insisted.

"We're going to eat…" Kurt walked over and told them, his arm circling around Jane, "You two coming?"

Seeing that Laura had joined the group with Kurt, Jane smiled sadly, "No, you go ahead. Enjoy yourselves."

"You have to eat," Kurt insisted. He wanted her with him.

"We have a lead," Jane said casually, "We'll grab something later."

At that Kurt's face changed. He went from lighthearted to serious in a heartbeat.

"What kind of lead?" He worried.

"Roman might be in the city," Patterson explained.

"Then I should go with you," Kurt turned and yelled back at the group, "I'm going with Jane and Patterson, catch you later."

"Need any help?" Laura offered immediately.

Kurt looked over at Jane in question, "No," Jane assured him, "If you want to go with the others…"

"I'm with you," Kurt insisted.

Seeing his serious expression firmly back in place, Jane's heart sank. He would never be the carefree person he should be as long as he had to help her carry her baggage. The thought made her sad.

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"Clear," Jane told Kurt turning to head upstairs.

"Clear," Kurt called back, making his way through the kitchen area of the abandoned building.

"I'm going up," Jane told him.

"I'll finish the back room sweep and then I'll be right behind you," Kurt assured her.

"Copy," Jane headed up the steps cautiously.

The first room was empty, but as she moved down the narrow hall, the door to the room at the end of the hallway burst open and she gasped as she came under heavy fire.

"We have shooters!" Jane warned Kurt falling into a room adjacent to her attempting to avoid the barrage of gun fire.

"Jane, are you down?" Patterson worried.

"No," Jane denied. She looked down at her leg and saw the tear in her pants, but the wound was superficial. She taken a couple of hits to the plates, but her biggest problem was the running feet headed in her direction.

"Kurt," Jane warned him, "Get out, it's a trap."

"Not without you," Kurt insisted.

Suddenly a grenade landed on the floor in front of her.

Jane leaped for the window and burst out just as the grenade exploded.

"Jane!" Patterson called to no avail.

Kurt had been headed up the steps when the blast went off.

"Is she down?" Kurt demanded to Patterson.

"I don't know," Patterson denied, "She's not responding."

Jane fell to the ground and hit hard. The jarring of her entire body might have killed her if she hadn't been able to disperse the impact by rolling. Regardless, when she came to rest just out of sight of the window her first thought was of Kurt.

"I went out the window," Jane forced the words out, not even sounding like herself.

"I'm coming," Kurt assure her, turning to retrace his steps.

Jane tried to push herself up, but she needed a moment.

Kurt came around the house and immediately began firing at the figure standing in the window. The shooter returned fire before he retreated.

At the sound of the automatic fire, Jane forced herself up. She saw Kurt heading toward her and tried to meet him, but her limbs weren't responding quickly enough.

"Stay down!" Kurt insisted, falling to his knees beside her.

"I'm okay," Jane reassured him.

"No you're not," Kurt denied looking over.

"We need to get out of here," Jane insisted.

"I've got back-up on the way," Patterson assured them.

"We need paramedics," Kurt insisted.

"I'll dispatch." Patterson didn't second guess him.

"Kurt," Jane protested.

"You jumped from the second story!" Kurt all but yelled at her.

It was so out of character, Jane looked up shocked at his sudden loss of control.

"We need to get some distance from the shooters until back-up arrives," Jane insisted.

Kurt helped her stand and supported her against him while they moved to a more defensible position.

Fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, the shooters elected to flee and not fight. They got away, but they left behind some valuable Intel.

Kurt didn't give a damn about any of that though. He stood vigilant over Jane while the paramedics checked her injuries. When they medically cleared her, he scowled as she signed the consent form refusing further medical assistance.

"You need to go to the hospital," Kurt argued, "You might have internal bleeding."

"I know what to look for," Jane assured him, standing up gingerly.

Kurt was beyond frustrated. He didn't remember her, but he knew she was necessary in some fundamental level. The cavalier way she seemed to disregard her own wellbeing was infuriating.

"I thought you said you loved me?" Kurt didn't step back when she moved toward him.

"What?" Jane looked up at him in startled surprise.

"If you loved me like you said you do," Kurt continued, refusing to be swayed from this conversation by her confused and tired face, "You wouldn't continue to risk yourself like this."

"What we do is dangerous," Jane reminded him.

"Yes," Kurt agreed, "But you take more risks than the rest of us. Do you have a death wish?"

"NO!" Jane denied adamantly.

"Then what's going on?"

"All of this…it's because of me. If there's a risk, I want to be the one that takes it. If someone is going to die, I'd rather it be me than any one of you." Jane said without meeting his eyes.

"How is that fair to me? To our relationship?" Kurt demanded his jaw hard.

"Some things aren't fair," Jane said softly.

"So what?" He gestured angrily, "If something happens to you, I'm just supposed to live with it?"

"Kurt," Jane placed a gentle hand on his arm, "You don't remember me."

"So you think you don't matter?" He demanded in disbelief.

"Not like I did before," Jane admitted.

"You're wrong," Kurt said flatly, "I've been waiting on you to realize that my lack memories don't affect the way I feel about you, but you can't see! I can't sleep at night because I'm worried you're going to get yourself killed. I find myself watching you even when you aren't looking, because I can't stop. I'm learning all these little things about you that make me realized just why I fell in love with you in the first place, but you are so busy trying to get yourself killed, you can't see it. You don't want to see it!"

"That's not true," Jane claimed as she felt her own eyes fill with tears. "I watch you too. You don't need me like you did before. It was us against the world, but this drug has freed you from the things that held you back."

"What things?" Kurt had become very still.

"A difficult past," Jane explained, "A terrorist wife. You have a chance to be happy. Happier than I could ever make you."

"Without you?" Kurt said quietly.

"I just want you to be happy." Jane said wearily.

"Then take care," Kurt argued, "Because for me there is no happiness for me without you."

Jane felt a tear fall down her cheek as she nodded her compliance.

Kurt pulled her against him tightly. He couldn't resist leaning down to kiss the trembling lips that were so close to his own. When Jane's hand moved up to the back of his neck and she sank against him, he groaned at the familiarity of it. In that moment, even though the memories remained elusive, he knew he was finally home. He just needed to convince her. He might have forgotten, but she was the one that was lost. They would find their way back to each other…he would have it no other way.


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own Blindspot or any of the Amazing characters…

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Okay…this is the last chapter in this story. Tomorrow is the finale and I will be too busy counting down the minutes to write anything! I also expect we're going to get Yas and Laura's review of last week's episode. Who needs more than that? Hope you enjoy!

UPDATE: I was going to post this at midnight, but I have to be up early in the morning and I'm tired just thinking about it. Let's all pretend it's midnight and I'll post it now. Deal? Okay...thanks. :)

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Jane woke up plastered against Kurt. It wasn't an unfamiliar sensation, they'd woken up like this more often than not, but she didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable so she gingerly began to extract herself from him.

His arms tightened around her.

"You're awake," Jane pushed herself up high enough to look into his eyes.

Kurt met her sleepy smile with one of his own.

"Who needs coffee when I can start the day like this?" Kurt teased her.

She blushed, her hand coming up to push her hair behind her ear awkwardly. Her ring flashed and he studied it and her in satisfaction.

He loved her endearing embarrassment. She always did that he thought affectionately. Suddenly, all the blank spaces in his head began to fill. The first time he saw her sitting on the gurney, vulnerable and confused. The moment that she ran her hands gently over his features, trying to remember him made his breath catch, just like it had the first time. He pulled her back down to rest against his chest as the images of their life together flooded his mind.

Their first kiss, all the times they had each other's backs, the day he arrested her…the day he got her back, her willingness to sacrifice her safety for a team that didn't trust her. He relived her struggle with her brother, the realization that he might lose her, telling her that he loved her and then the relief and love he felt when she told him how she felt.

The love and devotion they shared was just as overwhelming now as it had ever been. The wedding…Colorado…her leaving and the desperation he felt when he'd realized what she'd done. Finding her again. His arms tightened around her as if that alone would be enough to keep from ever losing her again.

Avery, Clem, Roman, Sheppard…all of the many hurtles they'd overcome. He remembered her words in the hospital… _I know you're wondering why you loved me, but I could never understand how someone like you could have loved someone like me…"_

How could he _not?_ How could anyone not love her? She was the most exceptional woman he'd ever met. The most empathetic, beautiful, selfless, capable, smart, strong, determined woman he was lucky enough to have married. How could she not know that? How could he have not told her?

Jane sensed something was wrong and she pushed herself up on her elbows to regard him with troubled eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Kurt couldn't resist. He threaded his fingers through her hair and pulled her down to meet his kiss. Jane hesitated a moment before she melted against him in the way that always made him crazy. The kiss became heated and Kurt became desperate before Jane began to pull away.

"No," She protested.

"What?" Kurt's worried eyes ran over he swollen lips with disbelief.

"I can't," Jane moved from the top of him to his side.

"Why not?" Kurt's fingers threaded through her to keep him with him.

"It wouldn't be fair to you," Jane admitted, "Right now…you're at a crossroads. The life that you pick needs to be the right one for you."

"I pick you," Kurt insisted, his hand tightening on hers.

"You don't know," Jane insisted, "You can't just pick me because you feel obligated because I'm your wife. There are things that we've been through…things we will go through if you choose to stay with me, they won't be easy. You're life without me…would be easier."

"Tell me what we've been through," Kurt said, studying her face seriously. He didn't tell her he remembered. Now that he realized just how insecure she was about their relationship he was determined to find out why. That was the only way he could fix whatever made her think he could ever be better off without her. To do that he needed to first see how she viewed her place in his life.

Jane sat up against the headboard and brought her knees to her chest. This is what she'd been trying to avoid since she'd realized he couldn't remember. This is the moment that he would realize just why loving her was such a bad idea. This is the moment that she would lose him.

"It started a long time ago," Jane said quietly, "Before we ever even met."

Kurt's brow furrowed as he listened. How could she think that anything that happened before they met could affect their relationship?

"When you were little," Jane explained, "You're next door neighbor disappeared, her name was Taylor Shaw. You were very close to her and nobody knew what happened to her. You dedicated a large part of your life trying to find out what happened to her. It's one of the reasons you decided to join the FBI."

Kurt remained silent.

"I've already told you that I was part of a terrorist organization that was run by my Mother. What I didn't tell you was when my memory was erased and I was left in Time Square with your name tattooed on my back, you believed that I was your missing friend."

Jane couldn't look at Kurt, if she had she would have seen the knowledge in his eyes.

"I believed it too," Jane explained, "It wasn't until the day you arrested me that I found out that I wasn't her. She was dead and I was lost. The second that you realized I _wasn't_ Taylor, you turned your back on me. I deserved it for lying to you, but your feelings for me, they were a byproduct of thinking I was Taylor. You didn't care about _me."_

Kurt's breath caught at her interpretation of their past.

"I spent the next few months with the CIA," Jane didn't spend any time on what she'd gone through. "When I escaped, the FBI with the help of the NSA caught up with me. They offered me a deal. I would help bring down Sandstorm and they would not throw me in a dark hole."

The fact that she had been hunting Sandstorm on her own before she was caught, she dismissed as unimportant. Kurt realized that if he hadn't remembered, her interpretation of events could paint an entirely different picture of their reality. Is this how she remembered their past? Had his hurt and sense of betrayal resulted in her distorted view of the events that lead them to each other?

"To say that you and the team were reluctant to work with me again is an understatement." Jane confessed, "At one point I even overheard you telling someone that you couldn't stand to be in the same room with me."

Kurt's stomach knotted at that confession. She perceived his comment as a reflection of her actions and not what they truly were. He'd been scared. He didn't trust her anymore, but he still loved her even then. It had been painful to be in the room with her because what he wanted was so at odds with what he could have. It hadn't been said only as a result of her actions, but his feelings. He had hurt her deeply that day and it was still affecting how she viewed their relationship even now. Even so she still loved him and it humbled him.

"I've brought you a lot of heart ache." Jane admitted, "You're relationship with Allie, she left because she thought there was something between us. Then you had a relationship with a woman named Nas from the NSA. That fell apart because you were trying to help me with Roman. Both of those relationships had been important to you and neither one of them would have failed if it hadn't been for me and the problems I brought with me. I've disrupted your life."

"Why did I fall in love with you, if all of that is true?" Kurt wanted to force her to admit that what they had was powerful, consuming, and undeniable. He wanted her to remember he'd _chosen_ her over everything and everyone else. She wasn't his by default. He didn't love her out of responsibility. She had to know that…

"I don't know," Jane had to admit, "I've always wondered if it wasn't because you initially thought that I was Taylor."

Kurt listened to Jane and shook his head in disbelief. She was the air that he breathed the one thing in his life he'd allowed himself to love and she didn't even know that it was _her_ that he needed. Not some specter from his past reincarnated into the woman before him. How could he have not known of her insecurity? He'd always been bad at communication, but for her he would lay himself bare. When he said he loved her, he meant _her_ and not because of a past he couldn't change, but a future they had together.

Jane had stopped talking and when he looked over she was resting her forehead on her knees as though she expected him to get up and walk away.

He scooted closer to her and pulled her onto his lap. She looked up in shock to meet his serious expression.

"You forgot some things," Kurt chided her.

"What?" Jane obviously didn't understand.

"You forgot to tell me about our time with Rich in the Hamptons, when I realized that I loved being your husband. You skipped over all the times that you saved our lives. You didn't tell me about wrecking the car so that we could stop the perp with the killer drone and find that lost child.

Did you forget about when you flew us out of the woods while the militia was trying to shoot us out of the sky? You didn't remind me about the time I thought we were going to crash a 747 to stop the deployment of a weapon to leave our Military blind. You didn't even touch on the time I found you dead on the floor of the nursery and had to preform CPR, praying all the while I didn't lose you."

Jane was looking up at him in shock.

"You didn't tell me that I still have nightmares about arresting you or that the second I realized that the CIA had taken you I began to move heaven and earth to try and find you. Nor did you mention that I almost strangled the man that hurt you with my bare hands.

You failed to mention that the second I saw you after you escaped from the CIA that my life suddenly had meaning again. You overlooked that I would have done _anything_ to bring you back with me to the FBI because the thought of losing you again, was more that I could take."

"Kurt…" Jane whispered breathlessly.

He continued without stopping, "You didn't tell me that the only reason I got back with Allie in the first place was because I thought I couldn't have you or that Nas was a shield to protect me from my feelings for you when I thought I couldn't trust you. That even when I didn't trust you, I loved you and when I did finally let myself believe that what we had was real…I was determined to let you go so that you could choose the right life for you, even when all I wanted was for you to be with me. Just like you were trying to do right now…"

Jane felt a tear fall down her cheek as she listed to him.

"I love you." Kurt insisted, "Not because I ever thought you were Taylor, not in spite of the fact that you were a part of Sandstorm, I love you because you're who you are. Whatever you call yourself, Alice, Remi, Jane…it doesn't matter. I love the beautiful, capable, empathetic, loving, stubborn, other half of my soul. _Yo_ u not Taylor. How can you doubt that?"

"Kurt," Jane's arms came around him and held him tightly.

"I remember," He said gently, her lips buried in her hair. "It's not every day you get to fall in love with someone twice. You can't claim I thought you were Taylor this time, because I didn't remember her. Even when I couldn't remember you, I knew I loved you. Every moment I spent with you only reinforced that feeling. Nothing you said or did change that and it never will."

"I love you too," Jane admitted.

"You really thought I loved you because somehow in my mind I transferred the feelings that I had for Taylor to you?" Kurt's disbelief was apparent.

"Why else would you love me after everything? All the pain you've experienced since I've been in your life…"

"How could I not?" Kurt insisted, "Jane, everyone that knows you, knows just how amazing you are. Everyone but you."

Suddenly Jane started to cry. Her loss of control was so unexpected Kurt pulled her more tightly against his chest.

"I thought I was going to lose you," Jane confessed.

"That is _never_ going to happen." Kurt insisted. "You need to believe in yourself. If you can't do that, then believe in us."

"I believe in you," Jane whispered against his neck.

"That's not good enough," Kurt insisted, "You need to believe in us. Until you do, I could lose you again and I'm not emotionally equipped to do that."

"I won't leave you," Jane assured him.

"Why?" Kurt pressed her.

"Because I love you," Jane said with a little smile, "You are the other half of my soul and our love is worth fighting for."

"Right answer," Kurt assured her, his lips trailing from along her neck heading for her lips.

Jane laughed as his beard tickled her and Kurt's arms tightened at the sound. He knew she'd been trying to spare him the pain from his past, but he needed to make her understand that he'd go through _anything_ to get the chance to be with her even one more second. All the pain and heartache had brought him to her and he wouldn't undo any of it. He'd never risk losing her, even to spare himself the heartache of the past. He wasn't willing to give up even a moment of this life with her to take any of them back. He'd make her understand. With that determined thought he rolled her over until she was tucked securely underneath him.

"If I died tomorrow," Kurt told her his eyes serious, "It would have been all worth it for this moment."

Jane gasped and her arms tightened around him protectively.

"I love you," He told her, his lisps trailing across her shoulder.

"I love you too," Jane assured him, her hand trailing gently down his back.

"If you could go back…" Kurt lifted his head, "And undo coming to the FBI, would you?"

Jane thought of all that they'd been through. All the pain and worry. The loss. Then she looked up into the face of the man that was waiting so silently for her answer.

"No," Jane admitted. That might be selfish with all that happened, but she would never willing give up their life together.

Kurt smiled at her heartfelt response.

"That's my girl," His lips continuing on.

Jane held him tightly.

"So, do you ever think of having one of our own?" Jane whispered and Kurt froze.

When he lifted his head his eyes were intense.

"All the time," He said heatedly. "You?"

"Probably more than is healthy." Jane whispered back.

Kurt's smile rivaled any that she'd seen from him.

"No more waiting for the perfect time?" He asked seriously.

"Could any moment be more perfect than this?" Jane asked back.

"No," Kurt assured her and their morning was spent on a very satisfying project…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurt stepped off the elevator, Jane's hand held securely in his own.

Patterson looked over and a smile broke out when she saw them.

"It's about time you two showed up," Reade chided.

"We were a little busy," Kurt explained while Jane blushed red.

"What's going on?" Reade looked between the two of them.

"He remembers," Patterson realized.

"Kurt?" Reade looked over at him with a hopeful expression.

"I remember," Kurt admitted looking at Jane possessively.

"It's about time," Tasha said as she joined them. "Watching the two of you skate around your feelings was hard enough the first time."

"Tasha!" Patterson chided.

"What?" Tasha argued, "I'd rather watched this sickening sweet version of them than the moody, longing one. Wouldn't you?"

Kurt was looking outraged and Jane was watching Tasha with an open mouth when Laura walked over to them.

"Kurt," She called, ignoring the fact that his fingers were intertwined with his wife's.

"This should be fun," Tasha said under her breath to Patterson.

"Laura," Kurt greeted with a scowl.

"I wanted to see if you wanted to go to lunch?" She smiled up at him hopefully.

"No," Kurt replied without softening the blow.

"Are you sure?" Laura encouraged, "I'm sure Jane is going to be busy trying to find her brother before he does anyone else harm. You have to eat."

"We either both eat, or neither of us do." Kurt insisted.

Laura looked up into his closed expression, before studying Jane.

"You remembered," Laura realized.

"Yes," Kurt confirmed.

"I…" She didn't know what to say.

Reade did. "I have your transfer papers ready to go."  
She didn't even argue.

Watching Reade and Laura move away Jane worried, "We don't have to transfer her…"

The empathetic expression on her face made Kurt pull her against him, despite being in the middle of the NYO.

"That's just another one of the reason's I love you." He told her his nose nuzzling her ear as he whispered that confession.

"She's taken with you," Jane admitted, "But who could blame her?"

"I blame her," Kurt said with a hard voice, "When I needed help, she only saw opportunity. We need a team that we know has our backs. I wouldn't trust her with yours, so she has to go."

Jane looked up at him with understanding.

"So you've got my back," Jane said suggestively.

"And your front, your middle, your heart, and your future…" Kurt said between kisses.

Jane didn't argue that. Winding her arms around his neck she returned his affection. She wouldn't have it any other way…


End file.
